How do I pray?

Many people who are new to faith, or returning to it, feel awkward about prayer. It seems as if there's a right way and a wrong way, special words, or a certain voice you're supposed to use. Prayer is much simpler than that, and this guide offers a short, practical way to begin.

Prayer is a conversation

At its heart, prayer is talking with God. Christians believe God listens like a father. You don't need fancy language or perfect grammar, and you don't need to be in a church or on your knees, though some people find those helpful. You can pray in the car, on a walk or in the kitchen.

Prayer goes both ways. As you talk, you can pause and listen. For many people, listening means reading a short piece of the Bible and asking God to speak through it, since Christians believe God has already spoken in Scripture.

A model from Jesus

When his followers asked him to teach them to pray, Jesus gave them a short prayer, often called the Lord's Prayer. Here it is from the Gospel of Matthew.

⁹Pray like this: “‘Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. ¹⁰Let your Kingdom come. Let your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. ¹¹Give us today our daily bread. ¹²Forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors. ¹³Bring us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For yours is the Kingdom, the power, and the glory forever. Amen.’

Many Christians say it together, and it also works as a pattern. It begins by looking up, at God's name, his kingdom and his will. Then it asks for daily needs, for forgiveness and for protection. Prayer starts with who God is and moves on to us.

A simple pattern

Here is a four-part pattern that is easy to remember, and it takes only a few minutes.

1. Thank. Start with what you're grateful for, even something small like a good night's sleep or a warm cup of coffee. Thanking God turns your attention outward.
2. Say sorry. If something is weighing on you, say so plainly. Christians believe God forgives everyone who comes to him through Jesus, so confession is honesty followed by relief.
3. Ask. Bring your own needs and other people's: the day ahead, a hard conversation, a health worry, someone you love. The Bible encourages this.

⁶In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus.

1. Listen and rest. End with a few quiet moments. You don't need to hear a voice. Let the words sink in, then say "Amen," which means "let it be so."

When you don't know what to say

This happens to nearly everyone. You sit down to pray and your mind goes blank, or your thoughts are a tangle. A few things help.

Say exactly that: "God, I don't know what to say. I'm not even sure you're there. But I'm here." That is a real prayer.

Use someone else's words. The Psalms were written as prayers, and reading one aloud, such as Psalm 23, can give you words when you have none.

Write it down. Some people pray on paper, addressing God and writing whatever is on their mind.

Pray a single sentence: "Help." "Thank you." "Be with them." Short prayers count.

The Bible also says that when we don't know how to pray, God's Spirit helps us.

Common questions

Does God really hear me? Christians believe he does, and that he is never too busy or too far away.

Why does it seem like nothing happens? Sometimes God answers quickly, and sometimes the answer is "wait" or "no." Christians have wrestled with this for as long as there have been Christians, and it's fine to be honest about it. Prayer is about being with God and trusting him, and getting what we want is only part of it.

Do I have to close my eyes? No. You can pray with your eyes open, walking, or driving carefully. Closing your eyes just cuts down distraction.

Can someone else pray for me? Yes. If you'd like that, you can send us a request. A real person on our team will pray for it, and your request stays private.

Start now

You don't have to wait until you feel ready. Take a minute today, say thank you for one thing, and tell God how you're really doing. That is prayer, and everything else grows from there.